tonia’s

everyday is day of discovery. everyday is a struggle to maintain peace. everyday is a blessing. everyday is a joyful opportunity to live life.

everyday is today.

**weirdnezzz**

i find it interesting that people around me worry about the same shit that i do:

love, money, sex, self-confidence, family and work - not necessarily in that order, but you get my drift......

and its not really about finding people who are more miserable than me... rather, its the realization that everybody goes through shit. we just go through diff ways of handling them. shit happens, but we move on. AND we dont let things from the past ruin our future. to not lose hope is very important.

hmmmmm.

i feel lighter these days. not the "lighter" empty=lighter, but "lighter" relieved=lighter.

ewan ko ba.... the ball is rolling, baby. i am not going to let anything stop it.

amidst the erratic onslaught of anxiety attacks that i have been experiencing the last couple of weeks. i realized something:

i am growing up.

its funny really. when i was a little kid, i thought growing up was simply physical maturity. you know, you get rid of the diapers.... then the school uniform... til finally adult life would set in and would simply consist of family, friends and work. but here i am, 24 years old, and still "finding" myself. and you know what? i am now pretty comfortable with the fact that i am not perfect. i am not beating myself up for it.

hmmmmm... how could i have known that sometimes, when things get a bit too complicated, the answers to life's questions are quite simple? and that letting go is sometimes the best way to go?

hmmmm. i know i still have issues that i need to face. there is so much more that i have to learn. and in knowing that, it makes me feel a lot lighter.... i have a chance to make this life worthwhile.  

the realization that there is a lot in this world that i can experience, and the awareness of the fact that i owe it to myself to do what i need to do to discover my abilities and limitations makes me feel..... alive.

i think for the first time in a loooong time, i can confidently say that i am starting to live my life.

im living again. can you believe it? i have found faith again :)

*cheers*

What modern book do you think will be read in high school by the next generation of kids? 
Submitted by Tom.

well im not sure if it is for kids... but i would like to see milan kundera's the unbearable lightness of being on the list of books to be read.... and maybe a couple of pablo neruda's works as well. hihi.

If money were no object, which five luxury items would you rush right out and buy? 
Submitted by lorilyn.

1. a nice car. would that qualify as an "item"? haha.

2. a very, very nice olympus camera

3. boots (kahit kenneth cole...)

4. la coste sneaks

5. a diamond ring.

When was the last time you did something dangerous? 
Submitted by Ross. 

late 2005, when i was living in boracay. i went cliff diving with my housemates... we hiked to the other side of the island.. no special gear or anything. just sheer madness. haha.

Have you ever noticed that you're more concerned about making the "right" decisions than many people around you when it comes to your future? Or do you sometimes worry more than you should about committing to your personal or professional goals or feel anxious that you'll never really be successful? If so, you're not alone. There are many people who share your fear of moving forward.

It can be a real strength to recognize your fears. By being aware of the things that frighten you, you can assess whether fear is helping you or negatively impacting your life. For instance, a fear of moving forward may sometimes motivate you to take action in a positive way, like by experiencing a wider variety of things than others.

However, fear's negative aspects can sometimes be more damaging than you realize. Living with fear not only prevents you from living life to the fullest; it can also have a significant negative impact on your energy, health, and your close relationships if not kept in check.

i usually play music when i have my class read up things on-line (ung seat-work).

right now i have this instrumental thing playing... medyo senti songs sya. the amusing thing is that the class is actually singing along with the music. parang ng kakaraoke sila...

haha. they're so cute. imma miss this class.

:)

hormones.

the guy who looks like ****** is really making me anxious. faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak~

not good. not good.

anyhooo.... saw this horoscope thang sa msn.com (of all websites, dito pa tlga haha):

my boss red showed me the ramp plan for this year.. it looks like im going to have roughly 5 classes..

for the whole year.

whoa. that's like a freakin class every other month. pero kelangan madami kaming projects na gawin. gotta help out ops di ba?

ive got a few things in mind that i would like to do:

- back up the tl handling the transition agents

- initiate modules for the transition coaches (mentors) that can help them perform their job better

- support the initiative to push sales and do floor support (mingling with the agents, cheering them on when they make a sale, coordinating with ops to implement incentive blah)

- take in calls

- be up for some friendly competition (nuninuninuni...)

well.. it seems that thinking about work is gonna do me more good. you know how crazy it can be when boredom sets in. i am praying for sustainable motivation.. may term ba na ganun? hihi. blah.

gotta keep myself occupied.